Some Things Solve Themselves

The immigration debate has always been tense, but recent demonstrations by illegal immigrants and the casting of the National Anthem in Spanish have increased the stakes. The Senate recently passed a bill paving the way to erect a wall on along a 2,000 mile portion of the US/Mexico border, a project so costly it’s really only feasible if we use illegal Mexican labor. Maybe we could offer those Mexicans guest worker

Thankfully, Mexico has solved the problem by recently legalizing the possession of small amounts of marijuana, cocaine and heroin. The controversial move is fuelling speculation that this year, every single college sophomore will head south of the border for Spring Break, and that some will decide to stay.

I think this presents us with a perfect solution to our illegal immigration problem. We get rid of our drug addled ne’er-do-wells and free up space for hard-working Mexicans. Think of it as an exchange program. We send everyone interested in lying on white sand beaches high all day down to Mexico; for each American that leaves, we offer amnesty to one hard-working illegal Mexican (no Chinese or Guatemalans until they enact a policy to attract some of our dead weight).